Tag Archives: birthdays

Birthday Love Long Distance

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Long Distance Daughter – Part 2 (For Part 1: Click here.)

Here’s an idea for those with aging parents living far away or those who cannot have visitors currently. I know this can bring heartache and frustration. With the pandemic, circumstances beyond geography may limit how we share the love and care well for our parents. Here are two ideas that could encourage you to find a way to care creatively.

Back in January 2019, as my mom’s 95th birthday approached, I felt challenged by some of the limits placed on celebrating this milestone. If you have loved ones far away, you might identify.

  • My mom and I lived about 2,300 miles apart.
  • She had specifically instructed me that she did not want a party. I always try to obey and honor her.
  • I felt guilty that I was unable to travel to be with her.
  • I knew she did not want a gift that needed storage, display space, or dusting.
  • I felt societal expectations and pressure to do something big for her.
  • I felt internal pressure out of my love for her and desire to honor her.

A little idea came my way. I had no idea how it would work. I want to share it with you now, in case it inspires you to borrow and adapt it or it prompts new creative ideas for celebrating your long-distance loved ones. Here’s what I did:

  1. Created a postcard non-party invitation, using a resource, Vistaprint.
  2. Picked a design and color she would like.
  3. Added a photo of her as a young woman.
  4. Added the information announcing her birthday and no party.
  5. On the other side, some of my mom’s favorite activities were listed.
  6. Recipients were invited to select one activity to do in honor of my mom, to think of her in that, and to have fun!
  7. If they wished to let her know, they could do so. I provided her address at the bottom of the card.
The front of the card sent to her friends and family….

Next, on the reverse side, I…

  1. Listed some of my mom’s favorite activities
  2. Invited people to select an activity to do in honor of my mom.
  3. Included her address, in case they wished to let her know what they did in her honor and for greeting cards.
And the back with fun ways to honor her.

I was sneaky prior to this. On a previous visit, without her knowing, I’d taken photos of her address book to have names and addresses to mail the announcements. I addressed the envelopes, stamped them, and sent them on the way with a hope and a prayer prior to her birthday.

Here’s what happened:

  • She got many, many lovely cards from her beloved family and friends.
  • People wrote amazing messages and caring thoughts to her.
  • People did fun things in her honor and shared the stories with her.
  • Someone sent a gift card to the Olive Garden, with instructions for my brother to pick up tiramisu for her to enjoy.
One group, business associates, sent a photo seated in a room eating tiramisu.
  • Someone sent flowers.
  • The cards kept coming.
  • Someone sent her violets.

My mom was so touched by it all. She had the best time checking her mail. She was so amused by the whole idea. I never could have imagined the sweet impact this would have on her. She said to me, “I feel like my life really made a difference.” That still fills my heart with so much joy.

I had no idea how this would fill her heart with love on her ninety-fifth birthday. Needless to say, I was so happy. What started as a desperate attempt to celebrate a precious woman from far away, to ease my guilt of being a long-distance daughter, turned in to one of the most memorable things of her recent years. I was deeply touched as well.

Four months after that fun time, my mom passed away. I had the peace of mind that all those written tributes, words that might have been shared at a funeral, were shared at just the right time. She got to read them all. And over and over. Sometimes, even in situations where we feel so limited in what we can do, love breaks through at just the right time in the perfect way.

May 2018 (Mom at 94-years old)

By the way, she didn’t want a funeral either. We honored her request.

Stay creative in loving others, my friends.

P.S. Here is another idea that brings sweet joy, too. My friend made this amazing photo wreath for her mom’s recent 95th birthday. My friend is also a long-distance daughter with her dear mom living just under 2,000 miles away. I love this idea! Getting creative to show our love long-distance goes a long way.

Twenty-first Birthdays – Let’s Do Better

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The twenty-first birthday is a milestone in the life of many young adults. Yet the big reward seems to be drinking legally. And probably drinking a lot in one night. Maybe we can do better.

Photo Credit: Karen Hedge

What are we saying about adult life? Have we lost sight of truly celebrating our next generation as they grow to be adults? Have we taken the easy way out on creating a fun time? Is this what we really want them to look forward to? The legal drinking age seems to keep the celebration of reaching adulthood in the shallow end of the pool.

What kind of celebration would better honor this birthday, this rite of passage?

What if it were connected to life steps of accomplishment, instead of simply turning a page on the calendar. Achieving a goal or set of goals would be worthy of celebrating and instill a feeling of pride as one reaches their twenty-first birthday, like purchasing a car, getting car insurance, landing a job, getting a first apartment, finishing a college degree (not often doable by the twenty-first birthday), building a savings account, successful completion of military service, or volunteering or contributing to society. It is interesting to consider, instead of basically saying, “Now that you’ve survived to age twenty-one, have a brew, bro’!”

However, I think celebrating birthdays is celebrating life. Celebrating accomplishments feels like something separate. When we achieve our goals, that’s an additional reason to celebrate. We celebrate what we do at times, but birthdays celebrate who we are, who we are becoming. We pause to honor “being” over “doing.” So maybe accomplishments should be a separate reason to party.

What about those turning twenty-one who aren’t interested in drinking? Can we offer them anything amazing, beautiful, and empowering for them, too?

This can get more creative, especially considering drinking does not go so well for everyone. We can do better at designing a ritual or honoring celebration as we frame turning twenty-one differently.

Here’s one idea, though I don’t see it as a good one. At Purdue in the early 1980’s, the student turning twenty-one got tossed in the local Wabash River by friends. Hopefully, this did not occur in the winter.

Why is drinking the big buzz at twenty-one? Is reaching the legal drinking age what’s important? Let’s celebrate more than that, and make great memories that honor the birthday person with class and thoughtfulness. I’ll check for a Pinterest board to get more good ideas.

Not helpful. But then it’s not up to me, anyway. I’ve been over twenty-one a long time, and celebrated with a banana split on my big day.

Was your twenty-first birthday special? Have you heard any great celebration ideas?

Stay charming, my friends!

A Better World for Children

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This past Saturday started with a protest march and ended with a first birthday party for my great-niece. The day crossed both ends of the spectrum. A sense of death and mourning for lives lost in violent shootings. A breath of life and hope in celebration of the growth of a beloved child. The contrast was fierce.

My friend invited me to go to one of the local March for Our Lives events to protest gun violence in schools. She made signs for us and headed to a Huntington Beach park. From there, hundreds of people, all ages and stages, walked along Main Street to City Hall. At city hall, high school students gave moving speeches. We were part of an international protest on this day.

We should not be in this place. All students are entitled to a free education – free from fear of being shot. We have got to do more to address this issue. I felt vulnerable just being out in the open in a crowd. I don’t have the answer, but I had to do something. So we marched.

2018-3-24 AM March for Our Lives, Huntington Beach 5 - Enid & Cindi Ready to March

2018-3-24 AM March for Our Lives, Huntington Beach 6 - Cindi

2018-3-24 AM March for Our Lives, Huntington Beach 7 - Enid

2018-3-24 AM March for Our Lives, Huntington Beach 8 - Vegas Survivor

She survived the Vegas Shooting.

2018-3-24 AM March for Our Lives, Huntington Beach 11 - Park Start

2018-3-24 AM March for Our Lives, Huntington Beach 12 - Enid Marching

2018-3-24 AM March for Our Lives, Huntington Beach 13 - Cindi on March

2018-3-24 AM March for Our Lives, Huntington Beach 14 - Walking Down Sidewalk

2018-3-24 AM March for Our Lives, Huntington Beach 19 - Civic Center 2

After the march, I attended the fun and lighthearted birthday party of my great-niece. She turned one this past week and we celebrated with family on Saturday afternoon. She’s been with us for twelve months. Twelve precious months. I really enjoyed watching her enjoy her cake. As she sorts out the world and continues to learn and grow, I pray schools are safer by the time she is old enough for school.

2018-3-24 Abby's 1st Birthday Party 18 - Cindi & Abby with Cake

2018-3-24 Abby's 1st Birthday Party 3 - Family Fun 1

2018-3-24 Abby's 1st Birthday Party 14 - Cake Face

My other great-niece was at the party, visiting on her spring break from Northern California. She is fifteen and a sophomore in high school. I desperately want safe schools for her, too. Not only that, I want both these girls to grow up in a world where all men they meet learn to show respect for them, and to honor them in word and deed. I pray for their protection from risky relationships.

2018-3-24-abbys-1st-birthday-party-5-brianna-curtin-10th-grade-and-kingston.jpg

I pray one day the world is a better place for all to live. We can do better. We have to do better. For all the girls. For all the children. We’ve got work to do.

Stay charming, my friends! We can make a difference.

January Daze

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Here we are at the end of January! Time really flies some days, doesn’t it? January is a fresh start, though I don’t make resolutions. Take a moment to scroll through the photos on your phone. Mine often summarize the month for me. As I look back over those photos, I recall many moments that made up January life. I am grateful for the growth in unexpected places, a moment to pause and reflect, and the joy of good times with good people. Here are a few very random highlights.

Craig Wright's Group Quote

This little item above is from my kitchen wall. It reminded me of this important truth for many years. I’ve started (again) to purge my belongings, beginning in January. I chose to part with this and placed it in the donation box.  I want less to mess with. Decorations change, but the truth remains beyond the stuff. Being with those we love is enough.

Cinnamon Rolls

One January morning, the house filled with the smell of baking bread and cinnamon. Isn’t that just the best aroma? I popped open a can of cinnamon rolls to bake just to have the house smell wonderful. And, of course, we got to eat them, too. Homemade cinnamon rolls are far superior, but this will do! I made them at home, right?

Coconut Oil

My January routine includes a visit to my skin doctor for my annual skin cancer screening. Although getting thoroughly checked is rather awkward, walking away with peace of mind that there are no surprises is worth it. I asked her to recommend a skin lotion for my dry arms and back, something without harmful chemicals. She recommended coconut oil. So I got some and have been using it. It is too soon to tell the results just yet. But I can tell you this, I end up smelling like a piña colada!

Braces Off Kate Cropped

A milestone moment! My good friend, who is in eighth grade, got her braces off this January! I remember what an exciting day that was for me when I was young. We celebrated with her.

Good-bye Steve

I said many good-byes this January. Learning to let go is a well repeated life lesson. I said good-bye to:

  • Two co-workers who left for other great adventures in January. For one, we all wore ties to work on his last day, something he was famous for in our more casual work world. A little bit of silly to soften the parting sadness.
  • A beloved school secretary from a school where I worked in the 1990’s who passed away.
  • To my car battery, stolen from right in front of our house. Shocking.Stolen Battery

January has been a fun time of year to be a Purdue University basketball fan. Purdue continued to build its winning streak this weekend to 17 straight wins and 12 straight Big Ten wins. This breaks the school record in both categories. That is exciting for this Purdue graduate and my friends! Go Boilers!

Purdue Button

Coffee is a good part of any month. One fine January day, I was introduced to the most delicious sweet coffee drink I’d ever had, a horchata latte from Tierra Mia. What a great mid-day treat to spice things up!

Tierra Mia Horchata Latte

And I love using this coffee mug in January, thinking back on the glorious snow days of my past when I lived in the Midwest. As long as I didn’t have to go to school or drive to work, it was a good day! All the snow made for picturesque surroundings. And an occasional snowman or snow fort.

Snowday Mug

One of several January birthday celebrations included ice cream sundaes at The Habit for a celebration with my sister-in-law. So good! Ice cream, even in January, is always a good idea!

Sundaes with Audrey

Speaking of winter days, we did have some winter chilly temps this January. Today, however, reached 87 degrees. It’s confusing to almost everyone and everything, but the January roses remain stunning! I’ll close with this beautiful photo of some I passed on a recent morning walk.

Beautiful Pink Roses

Hope January went well for you. What’s captured in your phone photos?

Stay charming, my friends!