Tag Archives: mom

Birthday Love Long Distance

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Long Distance Daughter – Part 2 (For Part 1: Click here.)

Here’s an idea for those with aging parents living far away or those who cannot have visitors currently. I know this can bring heartache and frustration. With the pandemic, circumstances beyond geography may limit how we share the love and care well for our parents. Here are two ideas that could encourage you to find a way to care creatively.

Back in January 2019, as my mom’s 95th birthday approached, I felt challenged by some of the limits placed on celebrating this milestone. If you have loved ones far away, you might identify.

  • My mom and I lived about 2,300 miles apart.
  • She had specifically instructed me that she did not want a party. I always try to obey and honor her.
  • I felt guilty that I was unable to travel to be with her.
  • I knew she did not want a gift that needed storage, display space, or dusting.
  • I felt societal expectations and pressure to do something big for her.
  • I felt internal pressure out of my love for her and desire to honor her.

A little idea came my way. I had no idea how it would work. I want to share it with you now, in case it inspires you to borrow and adapt it or it prompts new creative ideas for celebrating your long-distance loved ones. Here’s what I did:

  1. Created a postcard non-party invitation, using a resource, Vistaprint.
  2. Picked a design and color she would like.
  3. Added a photo of her as a young woman.
  4. Added the information announcing her birthday and no party.
  5. On the other side, some of my mom’s favorite activities were listed.
  6. Recipients were invited to select one activity to do in honor of my mom, to think of her in that, and to have fun!
  7. If they wished to let her know, they could do so. I provided her address at the bottom of the card.
The front of the card sent to her friends and family….

Next, on the reverse side, I…

  1. Listed some of my mom’s favorite activities
  2. Invited people to select an activity to do in honor of my mom.
  3. Included her address, in case they wished to let her know what they did in her honor and for greeting cards.
And the back with fun ways to honor her.

I was sneaky prior to this. On a previous visit, without her knowing, I’d taken photos of her address book to have names and addresses to mail the announcements. I addressed the envelopes, stamped them, and sent them on the way with a hope and a prayer prior to her birthday.

Here’s what happened:

  • She got many, many lovely cards from her beloved family and friends.
  • People wrote amazing messages and caring thoughts to her.
  • People did fun things in her honor and shared the stories with her.
  • Someone sent a gift card to the Olive Garden, with instructions for my brother to pick up tiramisu for her to enjoy.
One group, business associates, sent a photo seated in a room eating tiramisu.
  • Someone sent flowers.
  • The cards kept coming.
  • Someone sent her violets.

My mom was so touched by it all. She had the best time checking her mail. She was so amused by the whole idea. I never could have imagined the sweet impact this would have on her. She said to me, “I feel like my life really made a difference.” That still fills my heart with so much joy.

I had no idea how this would fill her heart with love on her ninety-fifth birthday. Needless to say, I was so happy. What started as a desperate attempt to celebrate a precious woman from far away, to ease my guilt of being a long-distance daughter, turned in to one of the most memorable things of her recent years. I was deeply touched as well.

Four months after that fun time, my mom passed away. I had the peace of mind that all those written tributes, words that might have been shared at a funeral, were shared at just the right time. She got to read them all. And over and over. Sometimes, even in situations where we feel so limited in what we can do, love breaks through at just the right time in the perfect way.

May 2018 (Mom at 94-years old)

By the way, she didn’t want a funeral either. We honored her request.

Stay creative in loving others, my friends.

P.S. Here is another idea that brings sweet joy, too. My friend made this amazing photo wreath for her mom’s recent 95th birthday. My friend is also a long-distance daughter with her dear mom living just under 2,000 miles away. I love this idea! Getting creative to show our love long-distance goes a long way.

Welcome Back, Friends!

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Long Time No See

I apologize for my absence. My last post is dated Tuesday, January 1, 2019, over one year ago. I disappeared to tend to other family matters. To my returning readers, thank you for your patience! To my new readers, welcome to Wild Chin Hair, where we are looking for growth in unexpected places.

Family Matters

My mom celebrated her ninety-fifth birthday in January 2019. Around that time, I became my sweet mom’s personal assistant, taking on her email, mail, and finances, including gathering papers for tax prep. As expected, that placed a demand on my time, plans, and adjusted priorities. It was a loving way to serve her as the business side of everyday life became complicated for her.

This new role also drained my creative energy, since it was stressful and felt like a part time job. Many of you know what I mean, since you’ve been through this or are in similar seasons right now. I needed to press pause on my weekly post. Now I’m back!

Good Grief

My mom was a great mom and caring friend to many, including me. She graciously left this world in the end of May 2019. Although a bittersweet good-bye and not unexpected, I could now trust her to Heaven and wholeness.

Our big yellow lab, Samson #2, also passed in the spring of 2019 on his fifteenth birthday. That was a tremendous loss. We’d shared a great life with him since he was six weeks old. So, again as many of you can relate to, grief moved in when others moved on.

Grief changes us. I suspect forever. For me, grief is an uninvited friend that both stays too long and brought the gifts of intimate lessons, resetting priorities, and a renewed sense of gratitude, depending on the day. A side effect not listed on the warning label is also the energy drain that impacted the creative part of my mind and heart.

Taking Care of Business

On the business end of loss, settling the will, updating information, contacting businesses she dealt with, and reaching out to her dear friends continued through summer and fall. It is almost all quiet now. I am grateful both to have served her in this way, and to see the paperwork drawing to a close.

Also, I forged through the time and energy demands, physical and emotional, to clean out her apartment. On the up side, that motivates me to clean out my own possessions. There is no time when that will be easier than now.

Back to the Blog

So I took the time I needed to finish tasks, feel the emotions, and process this season of life. I stepped away from my blog. Now I’m happy to be back with lots to share. I hope you find helpful, hopeful, and at times humorous posts along the way, and come back often. It is good to be together again.

Stay charming, my friends!