Pandemic Tug Experiment

What? No hugs? For months on end that has been a caution and a challenge for me and many others. I have devised a solution. Pandemic tugs.

It is recommended that we do not hug friends and family at this time. Nor strangers for that matter, but who wants to hug a stranger? That’s creepy. In the combat of the subversive spreading strategy of the current coronavirus, we stay distant. I pondered the fact that many remain without hugs and the deficit in our sense of connection that can create. There must be a short term better way.

There is beauty and purpose in a sweet, safe hug with a loved one or someone you simply want to encourage. I miss that. Maybe you do, too. What can we do instead to stay safe, respect others, and still sense a physical connection? This sent me on a quest. I came up with this idea.

Tugs! Isn’t that what you were thinking, too? No? Well, then, let me explain.

As I thought further, the idea came to me that maybe tugging on a rope would help. Crazy, right? Think about it. In a hug, you touch another person tenderly. You sense they are really out there and you are connected. The second best idea could be a tug when you cannot hug.

Tugs and hugs do have some similarities:

  • Two or more people are usually needed.
  • Some resistance is applied, so physically you know someone is out there for you.
  • There is a sense of connection.
  • Often people feel better afterwards.

So I began to explore with my theory and then found a few friends to experiment, I mean play, with the theory. Let’s see what happened. Here were my next steps.

  1. Find something to tug. A rope came to mind. Knots would be helpful.
  2. Get a rope with knots, or add your own to a plain rope.
  3. Make sure the rope is long enough for social distancing.
  4. Make sure the rope is washable for germ precautions. That, and dirt precautions.

Amazon, naturally, had a dog toy rope long enough for my purposes, and it was also washable. It is knotted and has a tassel, which adds a sense of play and silly. Now, we’re talking!

I ordered two for tugging with friends without passing them around. I don’t feel that is a high risk, but it is courteous.

The ropes arrived. I was very pleased. The experiment was underway, supplies in hand.
Each rope was long enough to provide a measured physical distance. Perfect!
I was prepared and ready to try my fresh idea.

Two friends came over for a physically distant outdoor visit. They were game to test my tug hypothesis which was: Tugging on a rope with a loved one would be fun and provide a sweet physical sense of connection.

Here goes! We all tried it and tugged together. My hypothesis proved true.

The resistance needed to tug on a rope provides a fun sense that someone is out there engaged with you. It worked!
We couldn’t help but smile, but you cannot tell because, well, masks.
This did not feel like a hug, obviously. Yet it did create a sense of connection and play, and that lightened our hearts.

The experiment was a success! The tugs are a cute replacement for hugs while we are in this pandemic. I was so happy we each felt the physical presence of friends in this off-beat way, and that brought joy.

And then we tugged good-bye, with smiles on all faces.

Some of you will find this awesome, too, and may even need to invest in your tug of love rope. Or get a four way tug of love rope to extend to a group tug.

4-Way Tug Tool

Desperate times call for creative solutions! Tug someone soon!

Stay connected, my friends, and may tugs of joy be yours this holiday season.

Birthday Love Long Distance

Long Distance Daughter – Part 2 (For Part 1: Click here.)

Here’s an idea for those with aging parents living far away or those who cannot have visitors currently. I know this can bring heartache and frustration. With the pandemic, circumstances beyond geography may limit how we share the love and care well for our parents. Here are two ideas that could encourage you to find a way to care creatively.

Back in January 2019, as my mom’s 95th birthday approached, I felt challenged by some of the limits placed on celebrating this milestone. If you have loved ones far away, you might identify.

  • My mom and I lived about 2,300 miles apart.
  • She had specifically instructed me that she did not want a party. I always try to obey and honor her.
  • I felt guilty that I was unable to travel to be with her.
  • I knew she did not want a gift that needed storage, display space, or dusting.
  • I felt societal expectations and pressure to do something big for her.
  • I felt internal pressure out of my love for her and desire to honor her.

A little idea came my way. I had no idea how it would work. I want to share it with you now, in case it inspires you to borrow and adapt it or it prompts new creative ideas for celebrating your long-distance loved ones. Here’s what I did:

  1. Created a postcard non-party invitation, using a resource, Vistaprint.
  2. Picked a design and color she would like.
  3. Added a photo of her as a young woman.
  4. Added the information announcing her birthday and no party.
  5. On the other side, some of my mom’s favorite activities were listed.
  6. Recipients were invited to select one activity to do in honor of my mom, to think of her in that, and to have fun!
  7. If they wished to let her know, they could do so. I provided her address at the bottom of the card.
The front of the card sent to her friends and family….

Next, on the reverse side, I…

  1. Listed some of my mom’s favorite activities
  2. Invited people to select an activity to do in honor of my mom.
  3. Included her address, in case they wished to let her know what they did in her honor and for greeting cards.
And the back with fun ways to honor her.

I was sneaky prior to this. On a previous visit, without her knowing, I’d taken photos of her address book to have names and addresses to mail the announcements. I addressed the envelopes, stamped them, and sent them on the way with a hope and a prayer prior to her birthday.

Here’s what happened:

  • She got many, many lovely cards from her beloved family and friends.
  • People wrote amazing messages and caring thoughts to her.
  • People did fun things in her honor and shared the stories with her.
  • Someone sent a gift card to the Olive Garden, with instructions for my brother to pick up tiramisu for her to enjoy.
One group, business associates, sent a photo seated in a room eating tiramisu.
  • Someone sent flowers.
  • The cards kept coming.
  • Someone sent her violets.

My mom was so touched by it all. She had the best time checking her mail. She was so amused by the whole idea. I never could have imagined the sweet impact this would have on her. She said to me, “I feel like my life really made a difference.” That still fills my heart with so much joy.

I had no idea how this would fill her heart with love on her ninety-fifth birthday. Needless to say, I was so happy. What started as a desperate attempt to celebrate a precious woman from far away, to ease my guilt of being a long-distance daughter, turned in to one of the most memorable things of her recent years. I was deeply touched as well.

Four months after that fun time, my mom passed away. I had the peace of mind that all those written tributes, words that might have been shared at a funeral, were shared at just the right time. She got to read them all. And over and over. Sometimes, even in situations where we feel so limited in what we can do, love breaks through at just the right time in the perfect way.

May 2018 (Mom at 94-years old)

By the way, she didn’t want a funeral either. We honored her request.

Stay creative in loving others, my friends.

P.S. Here is another idea that brings sweet joy, too. My friend made this amazing photo wreath for her mom’s recent 95th birthday. My friend is also a long-distance daughter with her dear mom living just under 2,000 miles away. I love this idea! Getting creative to show our love long-distance goes a long way.

Uberize Me

Uber Post - Where to

I am grateful there are strangers with clean cars, who drive responsibly, and want to take me places. For a fee. But I don’t mind the fee.

I am also always a little wary of crawling into a car with someone I do not know, trusting them to get me where I need to be. The other side of that coin. There is the tension to be managed.

Although recovery from my summer breakation is going well, I am not yet driving. My ankle will be able to tolerate it one day soon, but this is not that day. So I am dependent on family and friends to play taxi service. And God bless them for their generosity in that practical piece of support!

I don’t miss driving in our Los Angeles area. I rather enjoy being the passenger. But it becomes rather inconvenient and impractical to not be able to drive. It’s a short season, and for that, Uber has been a good resource.

Uber Post - Uber App

Most of my Uber rides have been great, pleasant, and comfortable.

  • Only one car had squeaky breaks, to which the driver commented, “I’ve been meaning to get that fixed.” To which I thought, “As long as they hold until you drop me off, I won’t panic.”
  • Only one commented, “It’s telling me my one tire is low on air. It seems to be losing air. I think I have a nail. I’ll have it checked once I drop you off.” We were two minutes away from my destination, and we hit a rough patch of road at the exact moment he shared that news. The thump-thump-thump-thump sound of the tires did get my attention, but it passed quickly, once we got on smoother road.
  • Only a few seemed to lack confidence in speaking English. We got along fine. However, giving directions from the back seat in English didn’t work so well. I ended up leaning into the front seat to wave “left turn” or “right turn.” The Uber map system, whatever GPS system they are using, directs them to use a road to get to work that has no entrance any longer.
  • That same map system directs them to pick me up in the alley behind our home. I circumvent that with a quick text message while I wait for the driver to arrive.
  • Only one was blasting a certain genre of rock music that was too loud and too metal for my taste, raised in a James Taylor and Doobie Brothers era. But I changed my attitude and head banged to Heart’s Crazy on You as we traveled together. The young female driver deserved a good sport in the back seat. Windows down. Hair in the air like I just didn’t care. It’s all good. Can I borrow your comb?

Uber arrives quickly after I place a request. No money is exchanged. The driver is identified by name, car description, rating by other customers, and number of rides given. That’s helpful. They don’t get paid until they complete the ride. I like these features.

It is fun to watch the app on my phone. It shows a map with a tiny car approaching your pick-up destination and communicates how long it will be until they will arrive. Helpful.

Uber Post - Ants on the Road

See the little ants on the map pictures above? Those are Uber drivers in my area when I took that screen shot of the app.

I’ve Ubered a lot in the last few weeks. It’s worked well for me and those who have been helping with transportation when they can. I hope to be driving again soon, but in the meantime, I’m grateful for Uber. It’s not cheap. But neither is owning and operating your own car. It’s a service I need right now.

Uber Post - My Trips

Let me also give a shout out to the great friends and family who have pitched in with transportation over these last months. I couldn’t have made it this far without you! Thank you.

Stay charming, my friends! I hope you get where you’re going this week!

New Dishes – A Fun Change

We got new dishes last week. We are taking the older dishes out to make room. We’ll donate those. I like the new dishes, but moving out the old ones triggered thoughts and emotions, like highlights on a timeline.

Changing Times

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In the late 1970’s, my parents purchased a set of dishes for me when I first moved into my own place after college. The entire J.C. Penney dish set cost about $35 then, and I was thrilled. My mom promised I’d never get tired of these plates because there was no pattern on them. She was right. As usual.

They served me well for years and years. In fact, when we moved into our current home in 1996, I donated most of the set that remained to create space in our cupboards. I have saved one plate, pictured above, for the sweet memory of that early part of my adult story.

This first set of plates reflected a change in status. I had finished college and was going to set up an apartment with a great friend in the suburbs of Chicago, Illinois. That adventure in independence involved a move eight-hour west, leaving my childhood home, my parents, and life in Akron, Ohio.


 

In 1992, I married Glen. We picked out a set of dishes. Our marriage has lasted twenty-six years, but our plates have not. We have two remaining dinner plates. One is pictured below. It is time to replace them. I remember picking them out when we were engaged and registering for wedding gifts at a local department store, the name I cannot recall, that no longer exists.

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These plates also show a change in status. I was thirty-seven and we were starting our married life. After years of being single, I stepped into sharing life with my husband, learning to love him, and choosing to care every day. We’ve shared many meals and memories with friends and family over the years with these dishes.

Changing Tastes

Through the years, I collected random plates with the common color of blue. I liked the eclectic look of those plates. For me, they reflected diversity and unity around the table. The plates did not match, but they were each beautiful to me. That was a metaphor for those gathered around our table through the years. Each person is unique, yet beautiful. The shared meal represented a sense of unity in that time spent together with good food. This collection will now be donated to make room for the new dishes. They have served us so well, and even started conversations as people asked why they are different and don’t match.

My tastes have changed. Those plates were fun for a season. Currently, I am drawn to certain colors that reflect the earth, sky, and colors of water. I want those echoed in our home as we refresh this 100-year old house for the season ahead.

The dishes below caught my eye online at one of my favorite stores, Crate & Barrel. They came in the colors I wanted. Rather impulsively, I ordered them. The first shipment arrived last week. I love simple design. We washed them and arranged them in our cupboards. And our old plates got bumped out.

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Did you notice they still don’t all match?

Shared Opportunity

It is time to box up and donate the old plates. It surprised me, however, when the moment came to do that, I felt sentimental. Plates and table settings are a form of self-expression and art in the home, as much as they are a practical tool.

I wonder who we will share meals with using the new plates. I look forward to seeing the good food presented on the plates to nourish us, slow us down for conversation, and share time with others. Our small group* met at our house for pizza and encouraging, thoughtful conversation last week. They were the first guests to use the new dishes.

I’ll schedule a pick-up with the Salvation Army. They will drive to my home and get the box of old dishes from my front porch. They can then sell them in their thrift store, support their community efforts, or give them to help others rebuild their lives. I feel happy about that opportunity as I send the dishes off. If someone else will enjoy them in their own home, it is time to share. When more people benefit, everyone wins.

Soothing Colors

The plates I selected are the pale green, dark blue, light blue, and white colors in the Hue Dinnerware Collection. These are calming colors to me, from the cool color palette. These colors reflect the sky, grass and trees, and the variant hues in the water found in rivers, oceans, and lakes. I love being outdoors. These colors are one way of bringing the outdoors inside.

We’ve got two each of four colors to mix and a match. I couldn’t decide which color I liked best. So problem solved!

Crate & Barrel dishes

From the Crate & Barrel web page…

Sacred Moments

Meals with loved ones can be sacred moments. For me, it makes me think of God’s provision in my life. The soil, wind, air, water, and sun all contribute to good foods. I Farmers and ranchers work to bring food to market. Having enough to eat is a basic need and I cannot provide all that alone. That turns my heart toward God, who I believe sustains me and food is a gift.

Slowing down around a table to eat, taste, share stories, and connect with another — these are essential moments in the day to sustain our spirits. A good meal engages all the senses – sight, sound, smell, taste, and we feel textures on our tongues. Shared meals are important to love, to community, to acknowledge there is enough, and see how we depend on one another to get food to the table.

For those of you who spend time reading the Bible, you may have noticed how many stories and images center around the table. Even communion with bread and wine, happens at a table with a group gathered for a celebratory meal. I love those images.

So dishes are practical tools, but the life that happens around dishes and meals is not to be missed. It’s time for new dishes and more memories in our home! May your meals be meaningful and enjoyed throughout the days to come!

Stay charming, my friends!


*A small group in this context is a group of eight friends that commit to meet together most weeks for support, friendship, and accountability as we learn to live as better people for a better world using Christ’s example and the story of restoration found in Scripture as our model. Our small group eats dinner together as part of our rhythm of sharing life. We have met together since 2008. This is a high priority for me as I navigate life with others who offer a safe space to talk, question, and grow. And eat!

House Full of Cute

Well, here we are, off and running in 2018, with our hopes and dreams fresh and new. Or familiar and rolled up with additional determination. I hope you enjoyed the holidays and now we are back together here on the Wild Chin Hair blog! I appreciate all of you who stop by when you get a chance to read the latest post.

Back to this week’s post, House Full of Cute. Let me explain.

Did you know we share our home from time to time as the right opportunity comes along? When we bought this home in our early forties, just the two of us, we felt it was important to be generous with it. It is a two-floor home with four bedrooms. That is too much house for only the two of us to rumble around in.

In the twenty-one years we have lived here, we have opened our doors and our hearts to eighteen different people in various combinations and life situations, two of whom were young children with their parents. A teacher, a nephew, a couple whose home was being remodeled, grad school students, undergrads, some raising support to go to the mission field, and some just working on figuring out their next step. Short term housemates leave us with great lessons and memories.

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Sharing our home is part of who we are as followers of Christ. We believe we have enough to share in order to support others in pursuing a dream that will contribute to better the world through creative generosity. The four rooms and a bathroom upstairs become a welcoming home sweet home, and we share the kitchen and laundry room located downstairs.

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View from the south window

Now on to the cute. Currently, we have friends living upstairs, returning after several years as missionaries in Sweden. They lived here five years ago as newlyweds. They are working on finding meaningful work and settling into life back in the United States.

This time, they came to Milton House with their young son, Oliver. He will be two at the end of January. He has brought a whole new level of joy and cute to Milton House. I smile the minute I hear his little voice or the literal pitter-patter of little feet. He is a happy guy.

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We did not have children, and welcoming some young ones into our home has been a great gift. Peter, who lived here from 2010-2012, shortly after his birth until he was just over two years old, trained us well in this respect. We were his first neighbors and had such fun getting to know him. We learned that “boo-babies” were blueberries, and so much more.

Ollie will be two in a few weeks. He as brought more sweet experiences to our lives that we will never forget. We are privileged to see these children and watch them develop day by day.  Sometimes, we even get to help out by playing with them or watching them while they sleep so momma and dada can run out for a cup of coffee or to rent a movie.

Ollie helped his mom bake muffins this past week. I just melted just like butter from all the cuteness. This toddler lives life in grand ways.

2018-1-5 Ollie Baking Muffins 1

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And of course, there’s also our sweet dog Sam rounding out the house of cute.

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Notice the tiny Chewbacca slippers.

Stay charming, my friends!

Seasons & Sisterhood

Seasons. They come and go on the calendar and in stages of our lives. Friday, September 22, 2017, was the first day of the season of fall for this year. Here in the Los Angeles area, we had cooler weather and a day filled with big, puffy, white clouds, not typically our sky. The weather made for a delightful first day of fall, even though the palm trees are misleading.

1st Day of Fall Clouds

Puffy clouds like this are rare in the Southern California sky.

1st Day of Fall Palms

First day of fall in Southern California 2017

Many of us love fall. I know I do. Perhaps you do as well. There is so much to love about fall. What are you favorite parts of the season?

  • Shorter days
  • Cooler weather
  • Cozy evenings at home
  • Spectacular sunsets
  • Pumpkin everything
  • The outdoor smell of fireplaces in use
  • Changing color of leaves, depending where you live
  • A cup of steamy, hot tea in your favorite flavor
  • Baking with apples and cinnamon
  • Favorite TV shows starting a new season
  • The burst of bright mums in gardens
  • Soups on the stove
  • Football season
  • Frosty mornings
  • Oktoberfests
  • Homecomings
  • Trick-or-treating and jack-o-lanterns
  • Drinking cider, hot, cold, spiced, or spiked
  • Kids coming home from college
  • Thanksgiving
  • Curling up with a comfy blanket or quilt
  • Getting out your sweaters, jackets, and scarves
  • Elections (Ha! Does anyone really look forward to this part of fall?)
  • Decorating for fall
  • Walking in crunchy leaves
  • And maybe even Hallmark movies

What did I forget? Are your favorite things on the list?

I went to my local Michael’s craft store to check out the fall displays. I wandered around and took a few photos of fall decorations to contribute to my first day of fall good mood. I didn’t buy anything. I’ve actually grown weary of owning and storing more stuff. Yet, it was still fun to see it all.

Pumpkin Pile - Michael's

Pumpkins

Mums - Michael's

Mums

Fall Flowers Michael's

Flowers

Fall Garland at Michael's

Garlands

Some seasons in life are so beautiful. Some seasons are difficult and challenging. And that’s where seasons demand sisterhood.

Here is the definition of sisterhood, according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

“the solidarity of women based on shared conditions, experiences, or concerns.”

When we go through a tough season of life, it is wonderful to have sisters, our friends in the frenzy, who are there to sort through reality, share a cup of coffee, and talk about life together with us. My husband is a great partner in life, and a good listener and confident. Yet I also need trusted friends for support and understanding. I could not get through some situations without my good friends, sisters in experiences and concerns. I don’t have any sisters here on earth, so I really appreciate good friends.

This year, on the first day of fall, a wise friend joined me for mid-morning coffee.

Heart Latte at Auntie's

We talked and laughed and solved problems. These times with friends are important and highly valued. The sweet conversation lasted until the demands of the day called us elsewhere, just as my latte emptied to the bottom of the mug.

Heart Foam & End of a Latte - Auntie's

The conversations like this with good friends keep the heart centered and that feeling of connection strong. I am so thankful for sisters in the seasons of life.

Happy fall, friends! And stay charming!