Tag Archives: joy

Cozy in Crisis

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The fall season is a favorite of mine. This year, it’s a balance of joy and struggle. The pandemic, a guest that has worn out its welcome, makes it more complicated. The anticipation of this week’s federal election fogs my joy, too. I feel the stress of wondering about the results, the response of leaders, the response of Americans, and the responsibility of the media to be patient with reporting results. You might be feeling all that, too. But, hey, what’s a little more uncertainty? After all, it is 2020. When all I want to do is curl up with a cozy blanket in a fall chill, I feel the weight of our current circumstances that leave me cold in a different way.

I do love autumn, but I have to get creative this year and not give up on the joy. What are you doing this fall to enjoy the season? Here are some of my favorite activities lately.

  • While at my desk, sometimes I sit virtually by the river to enjoy the calming sound and beautiful fall color while working, using the YouTube video below.
  • We enjoy a simple cup of hot tea in the evenings, a November ritual that gets interrupted by hot cocoa once December comes.
  • To cut back on all my computer screen time these days with working remotely, I went old school and ordered actual paper magazines. Remember print magazines? Do you still read physical magazines?
It is fun and relaxing to flip through pages for color, design, articles, and ideas.
  • I enjoy watching Hallmark movies with an autumn setting. The sets of those movies are always beautiful.
Hallmark is one place I get my fall color fix, since I live near Los Angeles.
  • My college football team did not play for the first half of the season. Fortunately, the Big 10 did start their schedule on October 24. I hope it works out safely for all the teams.
Purdue’s first game took place on October 24, and they won!

Some days are like a scavenger hunt for contentment, to find a centering joy not dependent on what life looked like before. Fall is a favorite time and I want to keep that feeling. Lets’ not give up. I want to look back and feel like we made the most of it, in spite of the limits and heartache of separation from loved ones.

Although cloudy moods can set in, and that is natural, many days have sweet encouragement in simple things, including these for example.

Slow Cooker Chili
My Annual Great Pumpkin Personal Party
Fall Baking
Dodgers won the World Championship and that brought lots of local joy.

This fall will not be the same. We must shift expectations. I love how some friends have taken road trips to find fall color and beauty. Following their inspiration, we can choose to be OK and get through it, making the most of it. Then we can look back on it to see it worked out after all. Maybe not without disappointment, but hopefully still with joy.

What are your November or autumn rituals or plans? Can you still do those even in a pandemic? Where will you have to get creative? What will Thanksgiving look for you this year?

Stay cozy this fall, my friends.

Tears and Apologies

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I’ve said it. I’ve heard it said in various settings. When someone cries in front of others, there is a tendency to apologize. “I’m sorry for crying.”

Can we stop apologizing? Tears are treasure. They are beautiful symbols that something important is going on inside. Why do we sometimes feel the need to apologize? I know it is uncomfortable, but I want to listen to what’s happening as signaled by tears. Mine or yours.

Perhaps, as women, we apologize because we don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. We were often raised to make people happy. Or we don’t want to bring down the mood.

Perhaps we feel embarrassed because we want to appear to be in control of our emotions.

Perhaps, especially for my generation, we got the clear (gender biased) message that women are too emotional, and we won’t get ahead in our male-dominated careers.

Tears come when they want to, don’t they? For joy or in sadness. For a variety of reasons, related or maybe unrelated to the topic of conversation at just that moment. I like to say, “Cry when you need to cry. It is important. When your heart breaks, love leaks out in tears.” If it is tears of joy from a full heart, love leaks out.

When your heart is full of joy, it may also overflow in tears.

May we be safe people for those who need to cry to feel comfortable doing so.

May we be brave enough to let our own tears fall when they come, without embarrassment or apology, embracing our tender heart as we would a friend’s. Let tears bring release in the stress of a season. Let tears share the loss of a loved one or acknowledge a big disappointment. Whatever the reason, tears bring us closer to our authentic selves and one another.

May we all have people we feel safe enough to cry with. And when we cry in an uncomfortable moment, may we go with the flow. Pun intended. Let’s grant others and ourselves that kindness.

Crying deserves a shame free zone.

If someone is uncomfortable when you cry, that is not your responsibility. It could be because they care about you and don’t want you in any pain. It might be because it triggers something in them that brings up their own pain, which will be theirs to work through. It might be because they are insensitive, and again, that is for them to work out.

If someone starts to cry in conversation, be a safe space. None of us has to be cheery all the time. No one took that vow. Be real in what you feel. In this season of great disappointment and loss in a pandemic, we have even more times of tears. Grant grace.

Stay tender, my friends.